Grief, Grace & the Soul of a Father
- Khary Lands
- 1 hour ago
- 3 min read
As June unfolds—marked by Men’s Mental Health Month, Father’s Day, & the light of the Summer Solstice—I invite you to look beyond the surface, into some deeper truths about manhood, fatherhood, healing, & legacy.
The recent passing of Niko McKnight, son of R&B legend Brian McKnight, strikes me as an immediate example of how often men encounter grief & public scrutiny. Also a call back to empathy. This is important as we approach Father's Day, which is one of the least highlighted holidays. Our level of blame, shame & judgement as a society for people we do not know & situations we have no real involvement in is shown no clearer than in how we treat fathers. Financially challenged & from marginalized communities especially. I have been a fan of Brian McKnight’s music since the 90’s. Other than that & reports, I know nothing of him or his family to say rumors are true or false. I know enough about people & the challenges our world is facing to encourage us all to heal our own wounds & then help others do the same in the face of such tragedies. It's a poignant reminder that relationships are multifaceted & often fraught with challenges unseen by the public eye. We all know & experience this. All! While much has been said about the family’s strained relationship, what remains mostly unspoken are the silent struggles men face when it comes to emotional expression, relational complexity, & healing in private versus isolation. I am a melanated man from the south, living in the west with four grown children. I know a little something about it.
In the lessons that forged the ELEVATED9 mindset in me I came to understand that healing isn’t linear. It moves in cycles like everything natural. The key is connection. A man makes music that brings together countless couples & is an aspect of creating families & those same people can slander & denounce that man, not ever knowing the situation personally. I invite like minded men to carve out a space here, with elevated9.com for us to build our own solutions. One of mine is Soul Systems Framework, which for this season would sound like :
The Soul
Each man holds a divine blueprint within—who he is beyond pain, pride, & past mistakes. (And the expectations of others). All things come from our soul. We have to get in tune.
To judge a man without knowing his soul is to miss the full measure of his humanity.
The Mind
Fathers, & men in general, often carry programs unaware: "Don’t cry," "Be strong," "Push through." Which aren’t negative. But these programs & others like them shape how men grieve, love, & even fail. What if we rewrote them? That is the power of the mind!
The Body
Grief lives in the body. Tension. Fatigue. Disconnection. For men, it’s often misread as anger or withdrawal. We must learn to see pain as a message, not weakness. Mind-Muscle connection is for more than just lifting.
The Field
From social media to broken family systems to financial stress—today’s men navigate environments that rarely nurture mental health (or their physical health either). Father's Day comes & goes with little celebration—but heavy judgment. The lack of appreciation & to a real degree, acknowledgement is actually limiting our whole whole. We change the field by changing how we interact with the field.
So What Can We Do? I offer 3 simple Soul System activations for my brothers to take within & to another:
Feel, don’t filter. Whether you’re a father, son, brother, or friend—give space to feel.
Speak truth gently. Your voice is medicine. Use it to heal, not harden. You too!
Check your field. Audit your inputs. Are they lifting or limiting your soul? Elevate!
Let’s remember: Reconciliation is personal. Healing is sacred. And legacy is written in how we love—imperfectly, yet intentionally.
Peace to Niko. Strength to Brian. Grace to us all. Let this Father’s Day mark not just a celebration—but a reset of how we view manhood, fatherhood, & just being human. Peace, Power & Prosperity Pops, K
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